So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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