ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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