Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You smell like stripper and shame
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Randomize
