god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
