dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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