This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just cut my nipple shaving
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
