I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
