the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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