We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i drank out of a bidet.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
