And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm at about main and main street
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This is my gift to your gina
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
