I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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