Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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