I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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