Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
