I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
