batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
