so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
