erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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