Your face is a jimmy john
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
