So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
