I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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