i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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