well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
