I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
