if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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