Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
