No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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