so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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