I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
