you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
