Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
