Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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