So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
