Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
