were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
