I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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