If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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