I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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