Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
