She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
