Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
