I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
