I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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