First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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