lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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