I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
