when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
