After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
