my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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