I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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