You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
